Time away from work
It shouldn't be so hard to prioritize life over work when we need to.
I came across a post on LinkedIn: a dad shared that his boss graciously let him leave work early so he could attend his daughter's soccer game.
On the one hand, yay for flexible work. On the other hand, work shouldn't be so rigid that an employee needs to ask permission to leave a few hours early. In a truly flexible work environment, the employee would just... leave. Add a Slack status indicating that you're away from your desk, and that's the end of it. As long as work gets done, it's not an issue.
The problem with asking permission for time away from work is that it forces employees to explain why they need to step away for a few hours. It opens the door for a boss to say no if they think the reason isn't valid enough, or if they don't like the employee. It creates a hierarchy of reasons: approving a few hours off for a doctor's appointment versus a few hours off to walk through a park (and improve mental health).
If we need time away from work, we should be able to take the time. A system that offers minimal paid time off or doesn't give employees flexibility when life happens is a system that prioritizes the needs of companies over people.
Paid leave (or lack thereof)
One of my clients is an Employer of Record: a company that helps other companies hire internationally. The EOR is responsible for making sure that all local laws are followed, including leave entitlements. I write a lot about paid leave policies in other countries.
As a result, I'm disgusted by the lack of paid leave in the U.S. Leave is sometimes so minimal (or nonexistent) that people are forced to make difficult decisions about taking time off, or have to take unpaid time off. This country doesn't care about taking care of its people, and, as a result, employers don't have to care.
If you're sick or having a major medical issue, you might be SOL. When my kids were little, they were sick all. the. time. (as little kids are). Anyone working for a company that offers a standard two weeks of PTO would burn through that time easily. I was fortunate to work for a company with unlimited PTO, but I remember thinking that it would have been incredibly stressful if I'd had limited days off. Caring for sick children is "not the company's problem."
I found out a few weeks ago that I have a brain tumor. Even as a solo business, I operate as a corporation, so I'm technically an employee of my own company. In another country, I (as the employer) might have paid into the country's social security fund that included a sick leave benefit. And then if I (the employee) needed to take time off from work for recovery from brain surgery, the government would pay me for my time away from work — anywhere from months to years.
I know that self-employed people have fewer protections globally. But I'm facing a (potentially) long recovery process. If I were working for a corporation in the U.S., I could use my paid time off (which might only be a few weeks). After that, I could take leave under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which offers 12 weeks of unpaid leave. You're only guaranteed that your employer can't fire you while you take leave.
It's frustrating to sit here with a life-altering medical diagnosis and know that, for some people, this would be financially devastating because they can't work and would have no income. To know that employers don't have to protect the person's job. (That's on top of the ridiculous healthcare system in this country that can also be financially devastating.)
Explaining why you need time away from work
In addition to needing time away from work, there are many, many scenarios in which an employee might not want to share the reason. But a system with so little PTO forces an employee to explain themselves, especially if they're hoping an employer will let them take time off without docking precious PTO hours.
As I was writing this article, I saw this incredibly relevant post on Threads:
(As a side note, thisgrievinglife is the mother of a 6-year-old Ana Grace who was murdered at the Sandy Hook shooting in 2012)
In 2017, I had a high-risk pregnancy after two back-to-back pregnancy losses. I was at the doctor's office constantly for ultrasounds and tests. If I had limited PTO, I might have begged my boss to just let me leave, promising that I would make up the time somehow. I would have felt pressure to disclose the reason, hoping that my boss would be sympathetic.
But I didn't have to disclose anything. My boss was aware of my high-risk pregnancy, but I didn't have to tell her every time I had an appointment. I just left and came back, thanks to flexible work and unlimited PTO. My difficult pregnancy didn't turn into a stressful work situation. But it might have easily been otherwise.
Today, my husband will tell his employer that I have a brain tumor. He doesn't have unlimited PTO. He'll need to use paid sick/vacation time to stay with me while I'm in the hospital after brain surgery. After that... I'm not sure. Will his employer be flexible with hours, if he needs to help take care of me during the day? Or go with me to follow-up appointments? To be determined.
I’ll be writing more about my Brain Tumor Journey in my personal blog. If you’d like to support my recovery, I have a GoFundMe or you can buy me a coffee.
You can also subscribe to support this publication as I continue to write during my Brain Tumor Recovery.
The most difficult thing about requesting time off is having to explain what it is for.
Personal time is personal and it is demeaning and exposing to have to detail private matters in front of a manger who may very well use that information against you at a later date.
All the best for your surgery and recovery, Anna.
I hope your husband is given the support at work that he needs in order to be a pillar of support for you during your recovery.
I worked for a US company for a number of years. There were three takeaways as a European that were in stark contrast to working in Europe. The first was the lack of notice period ans redundancy payment that an employer can give an employee, that is chilling. Secondly the lack of paid holidays, that is soul destroying, and thirdly the reliance on paid healthcare from an employee. We mostly have free state healthcare supplemented by private.