Thinking of the colleagues left behind
Thinking of the colleagues left behind
You got out. Now what?
Last week, I saw an announcement from a former colleague that she’d found a new job.
After my own employment with the company ended, the organization collapsed on itself. I was very worried about the people suddenly without jobs — especially in a difficult job market. I was therefore delighted to learn that she’d found a new employer, and with a company I really admire and respect.
If you escape a bad job or bad company, it’s easy to wonder about the people left behind. How are they doing? Are things getting better, or worse? This is even harder when you know people want to leave, but can’t find another job or are trapped because they need the income or health insurance.
I’ve kept in contact with people from all of my prior employers — many of whom have now gotten out (and many more of whom, unfortunately, have been laid off).
You have to decide how far you’re willing to go to help the people left behind.
Offering help
There are a lot of ways you can help a former colleague. You can ask them what types of roles they’re looking for and send job descriptions if you see them. You can write LinkedIn recommendations or offer to be a reference. (You can check out some tips from my interview an HR professional here.)
When a bunch of my former colleagues were laid off from a content agency, I hosted a workshop about freelance life. I don’t think freelancing is for everyone and was very upfront about the ups and downs. But it can also be a way to earn money quickly or “survive” until a full-time job can be secured. Many of my former colleagues didn’t know where to start, so I wanted to help by answering questions.
Even mental or emotional support can be enough. Check in on your former colleagues. Ask them how they’re doing. Remind them that even though the job market is hard, the application process won’t last forever. They will find something and it’ll be better than what they have currently. There is light at the end of the job hunting tunnel, even if they can’t see it yet.
Cutting ties
However, there are other times when cutting ties with a former employer and all of the former colleagues is best.
First and foremost: you have to protect yourself.
As much as you may want to help others, you can’t put your new career in jeopardy or risk the person still on the inside. I’ve known companies that were especially punitive if they thought ex-employees were trying to lure current employees away. And I’m not talking about any non-solicitation clauses that might be in an employee agreement — I mean even the simple encouragement to look for something new is seen as a threat by the company. You don’t want to risk the employment of someone who needs the job.
There’s also a lot to be said for preserving your own mental energy. If you got out, it might be “too much” to stay connected with former colleagues, especially if you’re hearing stories about what’s still going on.
Yes, you want to help. But helping also brings back bad memories and you want to be free. It’s totally ok to cut ties, even if temporarily until your colleagues find new roles. Or you can gently say, “I’d love to help, but we need to not discuss what’s going on with {former employer} because it’s too hard for me to hear.”
Recognizing lost causes
In some cases, you may want to help, but the former colleagues don’t recognize how bad things are. Maybe their experience wasn’t as bad as yours. Maybe they don’t have the mental bandwidth to look for a new job. Maybe they hope things will get better.
When I left one of my jobs, I stayed in close contact with two people still the company. I was very honest about my reasons for leaving: a big one being that I thought the company was dying.
One of the two employees left about two months after I did. The other employee is still there, thinking “this job is better than no job.”
And I try to gently approach him every so often, because I’m concerned for his well-being. Things have deteriorated significantly since I left.
But I can’t make him see the risks in staying (which are becoming more and more evident). I can’t convince him that the unknown is better than the known.
Nor will I say “I told you so” when things finally go up in flames. Because what good will that do? But I’ll certainly be there to support him when it does.
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