10 (mostly free) ways to support someone going through a medical crisis
Whether you're near or far.
This guest post is written by my friend , CEO and co-founder of . Olivia is an amazing human who supports people going through major life changes
In addition to her Substack, you can also check out the Fresh Starts Registry website, which provides resources for people going through divorce. Olivia also co-hosts A Fresh Story podcast (I’ve been a guest!).
When my younger son was a toddler and my older son was just in preschool, I broke my foot — and not just a small fracture. I wasn’t allowed to place any pressure on it for three months.
I had two little boys, a house full of stairs, and not a lot of help at home from my spouse. I felt like I was underwater, barely managing. Everything hurt. Everything felt impossible. I remember sitting on the bottom step one day with tears pouring down my face because I couldn’t figure out how to get the laundry basket down to the basement without crawling. I was in pain, yes—but it was the logistics that nearly broke me.
My sister, who lived an hour away, drove out as often as she could to help. She would baby-wear my toddler while cooking meals, cleaning up, and doing laundry. My parents stepped in to make sure my older son got to preschool and speech therapy every single day. These weren’t grand, dramatic acts. These were small, consistent moments of support—and they saved me. They kept me from going under. They were the difference between spiraling into depression and knowing I was held.
When someone you love is going through a medical crisis — whether it’s a broken bone, surgery, a new diagnosis, cancer treatment, or just ongoing health challenges — there are things you can do. And many of them don’t cost anything at all.
Here are 10 ways to show up for someone who’s in it — five if you’re nearby, five if you’re far — and all grounded in care, not perfection.
If you’re nearby, help hold the roof up
1. Text: “I’m at the store—what can I grab for you?”
Don’t say “Let me know if you need anything.” That puts the emotional labor back on them. Instead, offer specifics: “I’m at CVS—need Pedialyte, tissues, or dry shampoo?” Even if they say no, they’ll feel your care. And if they say yes, you’ve made their life a little bit easier.
2. Drop something on the porch and walk away.
One friend left a jar of soup and a pack of gum on my steps with a note: “Don’t answer the door. Just love you.” It doesn’t need to be Pinterest-perfect. It just needs to say: I see you.
3. Take one caregiving task off their plate.
Walk the dog. Feed the fish. Entertain the toddler for twenty minutes. When someone is in crisis, even the tiny things — like remembering to refill the dog’s water bowl or keep a child occupied so they can rest — can feel enormous. Offer to help with one of the living, breathing beings in their care. It may seem small to you, but it’s one less spinning plate for them to manage.
4. Take over one task. Just do it.
Empty the dishwasher. Fold the laundry. Mop the kitchen. No fanfare, no big conversation. One day, my sister just swept the floors and loaded the dishwasher while I sat crying on the couch. She didn’t ask. She just did it.
5. Be physically present — even if you’re just sitting nearby.
I’ve had friends sit next to me and knit while I lay in bed half-asleep. The comfort of someone simply being there, without small talk or pressure, is a quiet kind of medicine.
If you’re far away: Love travels
1. Be their Google.
Look up pharmacies that deliver. Research specialists. Find parking garages near the doctor’s office. Help them make sense of their insurance paperwork. Send a text like, “Do you want me to look that up for you so you don’t get the terrifying results?” That small filter can offer a huge sense of relief.
2. Send a short voice note or video message.
Texts are nice, but hearing a familiar voice saying “I love you, I’m here” can make all the difference. Don’t expect a response. Don’t ask any questions. Just let them feel your presence from a distance.
3. Mail a little care envelope.
When a friend of mine was going through chemo, I sent her a note, some tea bags, a silly sticker, and a lip balm. It cost less than $5. It sat on her nightstand for weeks and made her smile when she reached for it in the middle of hard nights.
4. Organize the helpers.
Even from afar, you can coordinate a care calendar, a meal train, or a support group chat. I once had a friend in another state set up a spreadsheet for my local friends so I wasn’t overwhelmed by random offers. That’s what love looks like too — quiet coordination.
5. Send a meal. Even better: schedule it.
This one isn’t free, but if you have a few extra dollars, sending a meal — via DoorDash, Uber Eats, or even Instacart — can be a lifeline. The best part? They don’t have to cook, answer the door, or talk to anyone. One friend sent me a rotisserie chicken and pre-cut fruit. I cried into the pineapple.
Just show up
What I’ve learned is that love shows up in unglamorous, everyday ways: through food, through folding towels, through the gentle message that says, “You don’t owe me anything—I just want you to know you’re not alone.” You don’t need to fix everything. You just need to offer a little light, a little steadiness. That’s what gets people through.
Most issues of this publication are free because I love sharing ideas and connecting with others about the future of work. If you want to support me as a writer, you can buy me a coffee.
If you love this newsletter and look forward to reading it every week, please consider forwarding it to a friend or becoming a subscriber.
Have a work story you’d like to share? Please reach out using this form. I can retell your story while protecting your identity, share a guest post, or conduct an interview.